First of all – if you don’t have any actual, helpful advice – don’t reply.
My 16 year old is going to court for his 3rd under age drinking, 2nd possession of marijuana and/or paraphernalia. I’ve tried everything to help him/get him to stop. I’ve taken off work to make sure he stays home – to the point that my job is in jeopardy. He bing drinks to the point of blacking out – so he told me. I wake up to go to work and they’re are 16 year old’s all over my basement (promptly kicked out) – wreaking of alcohol. I find bottles of booze hidden all over the house (which I make him dump out). The last time the police brought him home after an ambulance was called – he was passed out on the side of a road. The ambulance cleared him and the police brought him home. To my dismay, when I told them what the past year had been like and that I just didn’t know what to do anymore – they said I HAD to take him. Each court appearance (in Wisconsin) leaves me more hopeless than before – they just reduce the fine. The last was $250 – reduced to $75! (No – I don’t pay his fines!) And he still has his license! (No – he’s not allowed to drive my car).I’ve talked to treatment places, counseling, therapy, boot camps, boys camps … they all tell me the same thing – he has to go voluntarily (which he won’t… I’ve made countless appointments) or court ordered. I have a younger daughter in the house and I’m scared to death of what this craziness is doing to her!!! I KNOW what it’s doing to me! I’m not the perfect mother – I’ve made lots of mistakes, but I am a good mom. I put restrictions on him, but when I go to sleep or to work … he’s gone. I finally had it and gave him the choice – stop drinking and smoking dope … or get out. The hardest thing I’ve ever done – but I can’t condone or allow what he’s doing, and I can’t watch it anymore… and apparently I can’t stop it.! I wasn’t suprirsed when he chose to leave – but my heart was broken, I feel like I’ve given up on him – I HAVEN’T!!!! (He’s been staying with friends in the same town – I’ve called all his friend’s parents and asked them to let me know – they are also dealing with similar issues with their own kids). I’ve called Social Services and they were surprised they hadn’t been involved by the police yet. Me too! Don’t know what they can do to help … I just know I need help! He hasn’t been involved in any violenc or property damage – I’m getting the feeling that THAT has to happen before the courts get more involved. I just want some help for him BEFORE that happens, I just need some help!