This is the situation?

There are several family members who have died from alcoholism. 2 died many years ago the exact same way- their esophagus burst and bled out because their liver had failed from heavy drinking (when the liver fails it can put pressure on the esophagus, causing it to burst).

Despite this, several family members continued to drink. Then 2 years ago another one died from liver failure from drinking.

Now another one is experiencing the same esophageal bleeds that 2 other members died from. He has two children- one who is married with three kids and is in her 30′s. His son is in his mid 20′s and has been attending college since 2005.

We have been asked to help the son (who is a cousin) with paying for college because his Dad (the one who is now experiencing esophageal bleeding from heavy drinking) could not pay.

His Dad is such a bad alcoholic that he has been on disability for years. He has been in prison for drugs years ago. Despite being on disability, he has been given a place to live by his sister (he pays rent with his disability money). He has never been forced to go to rehab and has spent his disability money on alcohol for years.

His sister claims that you cannot make a person quit drinking and that they have tried to make him stop. Yet she has given him a place to live and ignored the fact that he spent his disability money on alcohol.

Now we are being told that his son, who is in his mid 20′s and still in college needs money to help pay for school. Apparently his Dad gave him some of his disability money (but spent a good portion of the rest of it on alcohol), but now that he has got astronomical medical bills as a result of his drinking, he cannot give his son any money for school.

It is not clear whether the son who is in college drinks, but I think he does.

Is it our responsibility as his cousins to send money to help pay for his schooling? We have a 4 year old and a 6 month old. The 6 month old has health problems that are not covered fully by insurance. We have some financial strains ourself but are not expecting other family members to help us out financially.

What do you think?
Thank you for all of your answers- the family member who ‘hints’ at the need for $$$ to ‘clean up the mess’ of this irresponsible alcoholic is a narcissitic manipulator. She wants the glory of ‘saving’ him, but puts him as well as other family members in extreme codependency on her. She tells everyone she is ‘helping’ them but the only ‘help’ she is providing is learned helplessness with extreme dependence on her. This is more disturbing than the ‘hinting’ (she is never direct and is emotionally punishing if you don’t do things her way) for money…it is SICK.