Question by Crazy_Fool: I am okay, but my family is messed up. How can I not feel guilty for not wanting to be around them?
So I am doing alright in life. Married two kids, stay at home Mom, Some mental health problems here and there but mostly good.
My sister is a needle user(drug user)and has a son. She wasn’t always this way, but she was always messed up. Recently she tried a dry out center and I told her to come and stay at my house during her recovery. She ended up using drugs again right away. I understood that would happen but the lying drove me insane and it was like she was using our home as a flophouse.
Her son has mostly been in my Moms care(and my Dad Too)and he would see his Dad when he was home(he works out of the country). His Dad and I communicate quite regularly and I have shared information with him about how his son is being raised. He gives my sister 00 per month.
My Mom and Dad are both Alcoholics and their business(a small town hotel/bar)is going down the tubes. My Sisters’ sons’ DadPhoned her today and said that he was getting court ordered custody and that he was going to pick him up from my Mom and that would be it. My Mom was very upset and phoned me. I told her I was sorry I couldn’t comfort her but I really did side with my sisters’ ex. My Mom said she knew he had to take him but she didn’t want it to be like this. It is all so unhealthy. My sister is going to be SOL, because her income was dependant on her having custody. I don’t feel sorry for her. My huband and I were willing to help her get back on her feet, but with all the lies and everything I don’t think I can mentally handle it. It has caused me a lot of stress and anxiety. I am also feeling that my mood is changing and I fear that it is because of everything that is going on.
I have always been burdened with trying to fix my family’s problems, but I realize that nothing I suggest or try to do will help them unless they help themselves.
What can I do/think so that I don’t feel guilty about not wanting to be involved? Was I right to tell my Mom the truth about how I feel?
Hi Dede. Thanks for your reply. I am pretty much the only Christian in my family. I have been praying for them my whole life. Not kidding. From the moment I could pray, I was praying. The whole one side of my family has been praying for them too. Prayer is a wonderful thing, but unless you have been through the termoil and struggles that our family has been through(and others like us)then I highly doubt that you know of what you speak. I am sorry if I offend you as I do not mean to.

Best answer:

Answer by Dede
this is a good reason to wake up at night and pray or take sometime and intentionally pray for your family.

Some things may look normal on the outside but has a deeper spiritual meaning…..if you pray, your family will be delivered in JESUS name.

You have tried with your own strength all your life…give it to JESUS now and watch HIM turn things around. Dont give up on family…be wise and deal with them with knowledge.

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