by brizzle born and bred

Question by Jennifer: Child custody battle, those of you that have been there, what can I expect?
We live in MO. We were not married. I made him move out literally right before I found out that I was pregnant, after my teen daughter and I witnessed him falling over drunk (this was an ongoing problem, and he smokes pot frequently). Our son is now 5 months old. I was served papers the day after I hired an attorney. He is asking the courts for joint custody, him as the custodial, me paying child support (he filed this in response to the DSS ordering him to pay child support). I just signed my response last week. I’m asking for sole legal and physical custody, with supervised visitation in my home for him. I have a really good attorney, with many years of experience in this field, and he’s also served as a judge. He has told me that judges do not give sole custody these days unless there is a good reason and it can be proven, and he feels I have a strong case and that the judge see’s fathers who file for custody to get out of child support all the time and that he won’t be fooling anyone. FYI, he has not paid me any support, only picked up occasional items that I asked him to up until I decided to cease his visits- because of his refusal to help support, his continued drinking and drug use, and his verbal abuse.

I guess I’m wanting to get a clearer picture of the process and what I can expect. My lawyer has sent out discovery, I haven’t received anything yet. He plans to get hair drug testing ordered (alcohol and marijuana abuse), and I’m told a gardien ad leitum may be appointed for my son. Will the judge order us to do DNA testing even though the father signed the affidavit at the hospital claiming paternity and is obviously asking for a paternity ruling in order to ask for joint custody?

Any info would be appreciated, especially an idea on time-lines. Thanks for reading!

Also, I know there are decent men out there who genuinely want to take care of their kids and be a part of their lives, who can’t because of vindictive mothers who are using their kids to hurt them. That is not what is happening in my case. Feedback would be much appreciated!
Yes I know I made a huge mistake being with this guy. He was really good at hiding what he was really like in the beginning, these things came out little by little over the course of our relationship. The first time I confronted him about his problems, he actually cried and promised me he would get himself under control. He didn’t obviously. When it hit the point that I knew he would never change and I’d had enough, I was already pregnant.

Best answer:

Answer by :)
why do you women have babies with drug addicts and alcoholics, then turn around and blame them for being indecent? jesus christ.

luckily for you, judge will def not give him sole custody.if he tests dirty, he will be ordered for supervised visits [which may not happen in your home on your watch] and will be ordered to take AA/NA classes.

Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!