I’m separated and soon to be divorced. We decided to do the share care arrangement and the boys seem to like this. Their father suffers from alcoholism yet refuses to admit this to himself. He abused me verbally, physically and sexually during our loveless marriage and he shows no remorse. I have forgiven him and he has never physically abused the children. They seem to think its funny when he is drunk. My youngest suffers from torn loyalties and has told me he would rather just live with me and my new partner but says it’s not fair on Dad. Dad tends to use the children to get at me. He palms them off to babysitters every chance he gets. I would like to take him to court and fight for custody but feel that this would upset the children even more. I currently have a protection order out against him which protects me and my partner. He also is a compulsive liar. The children believe his lies and receive conflicting advice regarding morals and what’s right and wrong.