Posts Tagged edit

Can someone please edit my essay? I just want feedback on my writing.?

Because I was once homeless myself, I am committed to helping others achieve personal growth and take an interest in their own well-being. I find that helping others is rewarding in itself and as long as I can make a positive difference in someone’s life, I will know that I have contributed to that person’s efforts to change his or her life. As a result of my personal experience, I understand the constant despair and frustration experienced by those who find it challenging to cope with everyday life and problems. I am also convinced that increasing one’s own sense of empowerment can make the difference between a future of despondency and one filled with hope.

I grew up in a single parent family household with my mother, with whom I frequently had arguments. When I found out I was going to have a baby, my relationship with my mother deteriorated further. There was too much family conflict so I left. Eventually, I found myself homeless. Needless to say, being homeless was a constant struggle. Months later, I found a shelter on Skid Row in downtown Los Angeles, which was the worst part of the experience for me. Here I was- homeless, about to have a baby, with no money and no place to live. I felt alone and felt that nobody cared about my situation. At the shelter, I met a social worker, and she helped ease my concerns. I told her of my situation with my mother and she was there for me when I needed someone to talk to. She encouraged me to resolve my conflict with my mother and go back home. When I moved back home, I made a sincere effort to heal my relationship with my mother. Six months later, I found a job as a counselor, working with adolescents who have experienced similar situations to mine. I was able to save enough money to move into my first apartment. From this experience, I learned that I had the ability to persevere through my most challenging times. I developed empathy for people struggling with everyday problems, and, most of all, I learned the importance of having support from my family. Overall, social workers make a remarkable difference in overcoming life’s challenges.

I am applying to the Master’s in Social Work Program because it is my goal to help others to embrace their inner potential in an effort to make a positive life transition. I began my preparation to achieve my personal goal while I worked at Harbor View Adolescent Center, a level-14 group home facility, as a youth counselor. My primary work responsibility was to serve as a positive role model for adolescents 12 to 18. The adolescents had backgrounds, such as being homeless and victims of physical and sexual abuse. Others had problems with drug and alcohol abuse, depression, and the criminal justice system. At times, the position was extremely stressful but I discovered that I had the ability to connect with the adolescents and develop strong emotional ties with them. I focused on several areas of treatment, including their social skills, coping skills, and independent living skills. My main ambition was to help them to build their self-esteem and improve their sense of security. As a youth counselor, I have gained valuable experience in listening to adolescents and helping them make positive decisions in order to improve the quality of the their lives. Overall, my career goal is to help vulnerable and oppressed individuals because I want to ensure that they have access to effective services, quality resources, and much needed guidance.

Most importantly, I want to become a professional social worker because I want to do everything that is within my power to enhance human well-being and help meet the needs of all people in my community, especially its most vulnerable members. This is my professional calling to do all that I can to make these people whole, empowering them so that one day many could even become be happy productive individuals.

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Could some one please edit my essay on drunk driving?

Right now I dont feel like my paper is flowing very well. Please help……
I’m having a hard time tieing it all together to come up with a closing.

Drunk Driving: Something Must Be Done
He never thought it would happen to him…..After having a few drinks he got into his car and headed home, but he never made it. He was drunk and driving and in his own little world, when out of nowhere someone pulled out in front of him. He never had a chance to stop…. And just like that his life and family was gone.
Drunk Driving is considered a serious crime; it is wrong, irresponsible and destroys many lives. Every thirty minutes someone is killed in an alcohol related crash and every two minutes someone else has been injured, according to (http://www.edgarsnyder.com/drunk-driving/statistics.html drunk driving statistics for the United States. Every person needs to be held accountable to for their actions, getting behind the wheel after a night of drinking out hascan have serious consequences; possibly killing or hurting yourself and others, losssing you of one’s drivers licenses and oneyou could have to spend time in jail as well as having hefty fines.
Alcoholic Alcohol is one theof the most abused substances in the United States weather the user is of age or not with no regard to the age of the individual user .For most users their first influence with drinking begins in childhood, they grow up watching their relativities drink in front of them. To some this is considered a normal thing.
Drunk driving is a very serious problem in our society today. People go out and party without a thought and thought or care and then with their liquid courage, they decide to drive putting everyone at risk, they have slower reaction and impaired judgment and they cause about seventy two thousand five hundred in 2008 there was an estimated eleven thousand seven hundred and seventy three people that died in drunk driving crashes, according to www.madd.org Mothers Against Drunk Drivers).deaths each year. Drivers need to think before entering into a vehicle after drinking, there is no excuse for drinking and driving, no excuse for being irresponsible. If someone chooses to go out and drink they need to take a cab home. Even one drink many be too much.
Everyday people are arrested for driving under the influence, while law enforcement agencies continue to crack down on these dangerous offenders, for many of these drivers this will not be there first DUI offense according to (alcoholism.about.com/cs/drive/a/aa082797.htmIf a drunk driver gets caught drinking they could have to do up to one year in jail These drivers may be supervised to find that penalties for DUI even if it is there first offense, have increased due to groups like Mothers Against Drunk Drivers. Groups like these and many others have helped to pass hundreds of new laws to stop drinking driving Nationwide since 1980. , these days it is said that one DUI could cost you ten thousand dollars, which is a lot of money for one night of fun although the fines and consequences could be much worse. In order to bring down the number of DUI states have taken some effective measures such as immediate license suspension, lowering the blood alcohol consummation levels, setting up sobriety checkpoints, and media campaigns about the danger of drink and drink.

When it comes to drinking and driving some feels there are some people that feel that celebrities get special treatment. Lindsay Lohan was arrested after crashing her car into a treetree; where she was found to have been drinking and was in possession of a small amount of cocaine. Lindsay took a plea deal on a misdemeanor drunk driving and possession charge where is she only served eighty four minutes in jail. Her original sentence was a day in jail but due to overcrowding in the jail she was sent free. What does this say to our society? If celebrities can get away with it why can’t we. This isn’t a good message to be sending out to our society.

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Can someone please do me a favor and edit my essay for grad school?

I am applying to the Master’s in Social Work Program because my goal is to improve the lives and enhance the well being of individuals that are discriminated, disadvantaged and poor. I want to help others maximize their potential and steer their lives in a positive direction. I am particularly concerned about helping change the lives of our most vulnerable individuals troubled and neglected youth. However, I want to be a social worker to make a positive difference in their lives and help them function more effectively with their problems. I am a thirty four year old woman who struggled and overcame being homeless. When I was homeless, having an advocate and an mentor helped me connect with employment services. But first I needed someone to meet me where I was and treat me with dignity.

I had a mentor that taught and guided me in my life. The impact that she had on my life inspired me to want to help others. I want to use that knowledge and understanding I have gained to assist people in changing their lives. I believe education is the key to being able to do that. Specifically, a Master’s degree in Social Work would put me in the greatest position for achieving my goal. A social worker on Skid Row in Los Angeles started me on a path toward healing my own life. She provided me with constant support and a sense of hope. Six months later, I found a job as a youth counselor at H.V. Group Home, a residential treatment facility, working with incarcerated youth who were mostly minorities. I am deeply concerned by the high incarceration rates in our society, specifically the way youth lead the way in going to jail, rather than going to college or working. It is my sincere hope to contribute on how to best counsel and care for at risk youth. My research interest focuses on troubled youth, especially those at risk of spending their young adulthood behind bars.
In my job as a youth counselor, my primary responsibility while working was to serve as a positive role model for adolescents aged twelve to fourteen. The adolescents encountered issues such as physical and sexual abuse, depression, drug and alcohol abuse, and problems with the law. At times, my job could be extremely stressful. I focused on several areas of treatment including their social skills, coping skills, and independent living skills. My main goal was to help them build their self-esteem and improve their sense of security.

The adolescents were physically assault and self-harm themselves. It was during these critical situations that I would experience problems in knowing what the best clinical approach was to use when a child was self-harming. I would like to have better tools to help these kids when they are in crises and know whether the interventions are supported by the literature. I hope that with the aid of the Master’s degree in Social Work, I can achieve that. I want to be able to help them in their time of crises and teach them the necessary skills the kids will need to transition into a more independent way of living. These youth need all the attention we can give them in order to prevent recidivism, especially African American and Hispanic males, who tend to continually come back into the system. If you were to grant me the privilege of studying in your program, I would like to research the recidivism rates of African American and Hispanic juveniles and young adults. I hope to contribute to our understanding of how we can improve the quality of lives of these individuals.

In my life, I have set my own guiding principles. Although I can talk about my biggest principle, inspiration. It can come in a multitude of forms, but mine comes in the form of service. As a career, I want to be a social worker, helping the poor, the hurt, and those whose lives have dealt them a bad hand. I have always lived by the motto “do unto others as you would have done to you”, and feel that the best way to do this is by furthering the ideal of social justice in the way I live and work. Social justice, as I see it, is the value system that recognizes the inherent worth and dignity of every human being and the right of everyone to be treated fairly and with respect. When we as a society truly endeavor to see the world through the eyes of the less fortunate, we can empathize with and understand one another. Only when each and every individual of a community is afforded the same level of dignity and respect can a society truly be called civilized. Those who cannot demand social justice for themselves must have a voice to demand it for them. It is my hope that by earning a Master’s degree in Social Work I can be that voice.

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Can someone please edit my essay for grammatical errors and flowing paragraphs?

I am applying to the Master’s in social Work program because my goal is to improve the lives and enhance the well being of individuals who are often discriminated, disadvantaged, and poor. I want to help others maximize their potential and steer their lives in a positive direction. I am particularly concerned about helping change the lives of our most vulnerable individuals, troubled and neglected youth. Therefore, I want to become a social worker to make a positive difference in their lives and empower these individuals to help them function more effectively with their problems.
I am a thirty four year old woman who struggled and overcame being homeless. When I was homeless, having an advocate and an mentor helped me connect with employment services. But first I needed someone to meet me where I was and treat me with dignity.
I had a mentor that taught and guided me with in my life. The impact that she had on my life inspired me to want to help others. I want to use the knowledge and understanding I have gained to assist people in changing their lives. I believe education is the key to being able to do that. Specifically, a Master’s degree in Social Work would put me in the greatest position for achieving my goal. A social worker on Skid Row in Los Angeles started me on a path toward healing my own life. She provided me with constant support and a sense of hope. Six months later, I found a job as a youth counselor at H.V. Group Home, a residential treatment facility, working with incarcerated youth who were mostly minorities. I am deeply concerned by the high incarceration rates in our society, specifically the way youth lead the way in going to jail, rather than being productive individuals in society. It is my sincere hope to contribute on how to best counsel and care for at risk youth. My research interest focuses on juveniles, especially those at risk spending their young adulthood behind bars.
In my job as a youth counselor, my primary work responsibility was to serve as a positive role model for adolescents aged twelve to eighteen. The residents encountered issues such as physical and sexual abuse and homelessness. Some of them had problems with drug and alcohol abuse, depression, and juvenile justice system. At times my job was extremely stressful. But I discovered that I had the ability to connect with the adolescents and develop strong emotional ties with them. I focused on several areas of treatment including their social skills, coping skills, and independent living skills. My main goal was to help them build their self-esteem and improve their sense of security.
The adolescents could become physically assaultive and self-harm themselves. It was during these critical situations that I would experience problems in knowing what to the best clinical approach was to use when a child was self-harming. I would like to have better tolls to help these kids when they are in crises and know whether the interventions work. I hope that with the aid of the Master’s degree in Social Work I can achieve that. I want to be able to help them in their time of crises and teach them the necessary skills the kids will need to transition into a more independent way of living. These youth need all the attention we can give them in order to prevent recidivism, especially African Americans and Hispanic males, who tend to continually come back into the system. If your program were to grant me the privilege of studying in your program, I would like to research the recidivism rates of African American and Hispanic juveniles and young adults. I hope to contribute to our understanding of how we can improve the quality of lives of these individuals.

In my life, I have set my own guiding principles. Although I can talk about my biggest principles. Inspiration can come in a multitude of forms, but mine comes in the form of service. As a career, I want to be a social worker, helping the poor, the hurt, and those whose lives have dealt them a bad hand. To me, gratitude would be enough to keep me going. I have always lived by the motto “do unto others as you would have done to you”, and feel that the best way to do this is by furthering the ideal of social justice in the way I live and work. Social justice, as I see it, is the value system that recognizes the inherent worth and dignity of every human being and the right of everyone to be treated fairly and with respect. I believe that every individual is worthy of dignity and respect and each individual has the ability to become self-sufficient and able to make the best possible decisions for themselves. When we as a society try to see the world through the eyes of the less fortunate, we can empathize with and understand one another instead of focusing on our differences. Only when each and every individual of a community is afforded the same level of dignity and respect can a society truly be called civilized. Those who cannot demand social justice for themselves must

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Can someone please edit my essay for social work?

I decided that I wanted to be a social worker when I realized that social work is very similar to psychology( my major in undergrad), except it puts more emphasis on helping people and finding their strengths rather than giving them a diagnosis and being predominantly problem-focused. My own decision in enjoying helping people with their problems influenced me to want to pursue a profession in social work.

Becoming a full professional with a graduate degree in Social Work represents the culmination of a life long of personal and professional preparation. I have so enjoyed working with people, helping them with their problems. At 34, I feel that I have the necessary maturity to perform at my very best level, again, as a student. I now also have a high level of motivation that accompanies my current position working with incarcerated youth, mostly minority. However, I am deeply concerned by the explosive incarceration rates in America, and the way African Americans and Hispanics lead the way going to jail, rather than college, working, etc. This sense of urgency makes me an excellent candidate for your Master’s program because I am so fully engaged with my place of employment. It is my sincere hope to be able to make some modest contribution to discussions of how to best counsel and care for at-risk youths, in my case my research interest is in boys, especially those at-risk for spending their young adulthood behind bars.My inspiration and level of motivation, it all speaks to be graduate school as a place where I belong.

I am currently working at Harbor View Adolescent Center as a Youth Counselor for incarcerated youth with behavioral and emotional problems in a residential treatment facility. In my job as a youth counselor, my primary work responsibility was to serve as a positive role model for adolescents aged twelve to eighteen. The residents had backgrounds of being homeless and victims of physical and sexual abuse. Some of them were also dealing with drug and alcohol abuse, depression, and the criminal justice system. At times, my job was extremely stressful. But I discovered that I had the ability to connect with the adolescents and develop strong emotional ties with them. I focused on helping them with their social skills, coping skills, and independent living skills. My main goal was to help them build their self-esteem and improve their sense of security.

The adolescents that I worked with in the residential treatment facility at times would get physically assaultive, throwing chairs and banging their heads on the doors. They would also exhibit self-harming behaviors. It was during these crisis situations that I would get stuck in knowing the best clinical approach to use when they were self-harming. I would like to have better tools for helping these kids when they are in crisis, and whether those interventions are well supported by the literature. I hope that with the aid of a Master’s degree in Social Work I will be able to do just that. I will be able to help my kids in crisis and am at teaching them the necessary skills so that they can transition into more independent living.

These youth need all the help and attention we can give them in order to fight recidivism, especially African American and Hispanic males, who continue to come back into our system.If you were to grant me the privilege of studying in your program, I hope to be able to research the recidivisim rates of black and Hispanic juveniles and young adoelscents so as to contribute to our understanding of how we can best go about saving their lives and, at the same time, easing the financial burdens on our society.

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Can someone please edit my essay for me?

I am applying to the Master’s in Social Work Program because my goal is to improve the lives of and enhance the well being of individuals who are vulnerable, marginalized and oppressed in society. I am particularly concerned about helping to positively change the lives of our most vulnerable, troubled and neglected youth. I want to be a social worker to make a positive difference in their lives and help them function more effectively by working through their problems. I am a thirty four year old woman who struggled with and overcame being homeless. When I was homeless, I had an advocate and mentor that helped me connect with employment and housing services. First, I needed someone to meet me where I was and treat me with dignity. This is what I want to do for others. Having an advocate really showed me that homeless people may simply need someone that cares and can point them in the right direction. This is what motivated me to enroll in your program and hopefully help others in the same way I was cared for. I appreciate your consideration for enrollment and am hopeful that I can further my education at your institution and use those skills in my mission to help others.

A social worker on Skid Row in Los Angeles started me on a path toward healing my own life. She provided me with constant support and a sense of hope. Six months later, I found a job as a youth counselor at H.V. Group Home, a residential treatment facility, working with incarcerated youth who were mostly minorities. I am deeply concerned by the high incarceration rates in our society, specifically the way youth lead the way in going to jail, rather than going to college or working. It is my sincere hope to contribute on how to best counsel and care for at risk youth. My research interest focuses on troubled youth, especially those at risk of spending their young adulthood behind bars.

In my job as a youth counselor, my primary responsibility while working was to serve as a positive role model for adolescents aged twelve to fourteen. The adolescents encountered issues such as physical and sexual abuse, depression, drug and alcohol abuse. At times, my job could be extremely stressful. I focused on several areas of treatment including their social skills, coping skills, and independent living skills. My main goal was to help them build their self-esteem and improve their sense of security.

The adolescents could become physically assaultive and would do themselves harm. It was during these critical situations that I would experience problems in knowing what the best clinical approach was to use when a child was self-harming. I would like to have better tools to help these kids when they are in crises and know whether the interventions are supported by the literature. I hope that with the aid of the Master’s degree in Social Work, I can achieve that. I want to be able to help them in their time of crises and teach them the necessary skills the kids will need to transition into a more independent way of living. These youth need all the attention we can give them in order to prevent recidivism, especially African American and Hispanic males, who tend to continually come back into the system. If you were to grant me the privilege of studying in your program, I would like to research the recidivism rates of African American and Hispanic juveniles and young adults. I hope to contribute to our understanding of how we can improve the quality of lives of these individuals.

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Can someone please edit my essay?

I am applying to the Master’s in social Work program because my goal is to improve the lives and enhance the well being of individuals who are often discriminated, disadvantaged, and poor. I want to help others maximize their potential and steer their lives in a positive direction. I am particularly concerned about helping change the lives of our most vulnerable individuals, troubled and neglected youth. Therefore, I want to become a social worker to make a positive difference in their lives and empower these individuals to help them function more effectively with their problems.
I am a thirty four year old woman who struggled and overcame being homeless. When I was homeless, having an advocate and an mentor helped me connect with employment services. But first I needed someone to meet me where I was and treat me with dignity.
I had a mentor that taught and guided me with in my life. The impact that she had on my life inspired me to want to help others. I want to use the knowledge and understanding I have gained to assist people in changing their lives. I believe education is the key to being able to do that. Specifically, a Master’s degree in Social Work would put me in the greatest position for achieving my goal. A social worker on Skid Row in Los Angeles started me on a path toward healing my own life. She provided me with constant support and a sense of hope. Six months later, I found a job as a youth counselor at H.V. Group Home, a residential treatment facility, working with incarcerated youth who were mostly minorities. I am deeply concerned by the high incarceration rates in our society, specifically the way youth lead the way in going to jail, rather than being productive individuals in society. It is my sincere hope to contribute on how to best counsel and care for at risk youth. My research interest focuses on juveniles, especially those at risk spending their young adulthood behind bars.
In my job as a youth counselor, my primary work responsibility was to serve as a positive role model for adolescents aged twelve to eighteen. The residents encountered issues such as physical and sexual abuse and homelessness. Some of them had problems with drug and alcohol abuse, depression, and juvenile justice system. At times my job was extremely stressful. But I discovered that I had the ability to connect with the adolescents and develop strong emotional ties with them. I focused on several areas of treatment including their social skills, coping skills, and independent living skills. My main goal was to help them build their self-esteem and improve their sense of security.
The adolescents could become physically assaultive and self-harm themselves. It was during these critical situations that I would experience problems in knowing what to the best clinical approach was to use when a child was self-harming. I would like to have better tolls to help these kids when they are in crises and know whether the interventions work. I hope that with the aid of the Master’s degree in Social Work I can achieve that. I want to be able to help them in their time of crises and teach them the necessary skills the kids will need to transition into a more independent way of living. These youth need all the attention we can give them in order to prevent recidivism, especially African Americans and Hispanic males, who tend to continually come back into the system. If your program were to grant me the privilege of studying in your program, I would like to research the recidivism rates of African American and Hispanic juveniles and young adults. I hope to contribute to our understanding of how we can improve the quality of lives of these individuals.

In my life, I have set my own guiding principles. Although I can talk about my biggest principles. Inspiration can come in a multitude of forms, but mine comes in the form of service. As a career, I want to be a social worker, helping the poor, the hurt, and those whose lives have dealt them a bad hand. To me, gratitude would be enough to keep me going. I have always lived by the motto “do unto others as you would have done to you”, and feel that the best way to do this is by furthering the ideal of social justice in the way I live and work. Social justice, as I see it, is the value system that recognizes the inherent worth and dignity of every human being and the right of everyone to be treated fairly and with respect. I believe that every individual is worthy of dignity and respect and each individual has the ability to become self-sufficient and able to make the best possible decisions for themselves. When we as a society try to see the world through the eyes of the less fortunate, we can empathize with and understand one another instead of focusing on our differences. Only when each and every individual of a community is afforded the same level of dignity and respect can a society truly be called civilized. Those who cannot demand social justice for themselves must

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