Question by George McCasland – Dads Rights: Should a custodial parent, who is denying the court order visitation rights of the other parent, without a?
justifiable and provable cause, be required to provide a security bond (cash or certificate), that they forfeit the next time they violate the orders?
With 60% of court ordered visitation violated within the first six months of the order, according to the U.S. Dept. of Health & Human Services study, “Survey of Absentee Parents”, and no government programs to enforce, this could be an effective way to address the issue. Unlike child support, visitation recovery stops when the child reaches 18. And, in today’s economy, judges can no longer automatically jail those who violate family court orders. States are releasing prisoners, without the need for probation reporting, in increasing numbers.
A bond can be in cash or through a bonding agency.
Ruth,
You really should read more of my answers before assuming I’m bias. I drop hammers on father who created their own problems, and I told mothers how to enforce orders. I tell fathers to wait until their children are grown before starting another family. Check my advice to women wanting to marry men with children, or visa versa,
My reference materials are available to anyone.
Finally, I want to make things harder for fathers, not easier, by promoting Bird Nest custody.
Best answer:
Answer by samworld
I think holding the custodial parent responsible for carrying out the court’s orders is a good thing. Right now the non-custodial parent has almost no rights if the custodial parent decides to deny visitation. My husband had to go through this with his son’s mother. She would change her mind about letting him see his son, not be at the prearranged meeting places, lie about what times they would be home to pick up my stepson. And every time we called the Police Dept. they said to call the Sheriff’s Dept, who said to call the Attorney General’s office, who pretty much said sucks to be you. Sure there are a lot of people who are neglecting their duties as parents, but there are a lot of parents who are basically at the mercy of the custodial parent’s whims. We had to go to court again and have it added to the custody agreement that we could pick him up from school just to avoid dealing with a mother who should be happy that her son’s father wanted to see him as much as possible. Instead she did everything in her power to make us and her own son miserable. Who’s looking out for the parents trying to do the right thing who are getting shafted? Nobody.
Add your own answer in the comments!
#1 by Lisa S on July 26, 2010 - 12:26 pm
I’m sorry, but I am the adult child of a divorce long ago…and I can promise you that anything you do to “punish” your wife will simply make your children’s lives miserable.
So far as your suggestion, child support is not “payment” for visits.
Try and rise above the nasty here, if only for their sakes. My own husband can’t figure out that by taking things out on my daughter, he reduces the chance that when she is 18, she will want anything to do with him.
My parents hated each other deeply, and made me their messenger…I still hurt from this, 30 years later.
#2 by irishmom91562 on July 26, 2010 - 1:20 pm
This is a case-by-case question, Papa. About twenty years ago, my cousin came home from work early and unexpectedly, and walked in on her husband sodomizing their seven year old son. A California court awarded this man unsupervised visitation, despite having all of the medical and police reports. Would you blame her for taking off with the boy to Oregon, where a Judge not only told this man his parental rights were terminated, but gave him 24 hours to vacate the state or face contempt charges.
For women/men with good cause to violate an unsupervised visitation order, regardless of whether it’s documented (too many instances and reasons why this may not have happened) the Court should order supervised visitation so the father/mother can be monitored and the children questioned by a trained therapist so that they are comfortable expressing their feelings about visitation.
I also think that parents receiving child support should be required to account for how that money is being spent to support the children. Too many women use child support as either supplemental income or sole income. Once all children reach school age, mothers should be mandated back into the full time work force and required to show that child support actually goes….to the children.
#3 by ruth on July 26, 2010 - 1:46 pm
I would find this acceptable on one condition: That the absent parent who violates the visitation order be subjected to the same thing. In many cases, the absent parent treats visitation as optional and there is no way of forcing him or her to pick up the child as scheduled, on time or as ordered.
My guess is, assuming your stats are even true, is that when a custodial parent “violates” a court visitation schedule, there is a history of visitation abuse by the non-custodial parent which is harming the child and disrupting the custodial parent’s household.