Court Ordered Drug Rehabilitation

you cant without talking to the judge that sent her or to a lawyer!

Faith based remedies don’t work for everyone. It would not work well for me either.

The alternative is to do the time. I’d rather go to church personally.

If the court orders it, no matter how useless it is, you really can’t get her out until she finishes the class. Do you know the percent of alcoholics who quit is 5%? Now compare that to the rate at which they quit when they are helped by AA, which is 5%. AA doesn’t work.

That’s B.S.. I went to NA meetings with an Ex-girlfriend years ago and the people there talked about higher powers, not God. Surrendering your will is a big step in the recovery process for some people. I just looked at the whole thing as something else for the addict to be addicted to. Even so, it’s better than drinking and driving. I am agnostic.

Well- forcing god down anyone’s throat is indeed offensive; but i feel that what is worse is that your sister IS GOING TO KILL SOMEONE ON THE ROAD SOMEDAY BECAUSE SHE CANT STOP DRIVING DRUNK!!

Too much god crap?

Boo Hoo.

Look for a Unitarian Universalist Chruch in your area…they’ll probably have a 12 step program that takes out the religious crap. Check http://WWW.UUA.ORG…I know my Chruch has a great addictions ministry that doesn’t rely upon religion to get the job done. PEACE!

he cannot do that get a lawyer. But that is you if your sister believes in God and stuff like that, then it might help her.

I think the fines are enough alone to make somebody not want to drink and drive.

You think that the philosophy of asking a higher power to help you with your life,is worse than DWI? Your outrage is very misplaced. Be upset that your sister thinks so little of herself and EVERYONE ELSE that she is willing to risk all our lives. I agree though, she should not have to go to these meetings, she should be IN JAIL!

Is your sister an atheist? Was she offended? It doesn’t really matter if you were offended, the meeting was not about you. The meeting was to benefit her since she obviously has a problem and is a danger to herself and society.

Next time, let her go alone. Drop her off and pick her up but let her make her own judgment about the content. There is more to AA than the higher power aspect. She may get something out of. So might society. Better she go there than to jail, though isn’t it?

Bottom line, sorry, but it’s not about you, so your feelings about it are really don’t matter in this situation.

Do you want your sister to get better? Do you want her to live and not kill someone while driving under the influence?

Let her do AA. It works and the bottom line is that you want her to stop driving and drinking.

I didn’t like Darwin theory but I had to learn it in order to pass my class….

What was it that she learned from the FIRST DWI???

That you will defend her, even when she is EVIL and WRONG!

You aren’t being helpful, you are an ENABLER!!!

You make excuses, you meddle in her life, and affairs, and that is what removes any incentive for her to actually take PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY for her ‘problems’ that are caused by ONLY her!

The next time she ‘Drives While Intoxicated’, the deaths and injuries will be YOUR FAULT, indirectly!

Hope you can live with that! Get some help for YOUR problem, while you still can!

request that the court have a Non theistic AA meeting? Call a Lawyer and tell them AA oversteps its boundaries

My recommendation to you is that you may need to find a suitable alternative if you are that offended. If you can come up with an alternative that will help your sister to overcome her alcoholism, you could then probably petition the court for other alternatives.

I realize that the issue of God is a concern for you and I can understand that, especially if I had to acknowledge something contrary to my beliefs. But think about the principles they are espousing in those meetings that you find are helpful to your sister.

These issues are the core our our walk with God. Love, Joy, Peace, Gentleness, Goodness, Faith, Meekness, Self Control
Is there a way to focus on those qualities instead at the meetings?

AA meetings are often held at a church because the congregations open their buildings because they want to sincerly help people. This desire to help people is at the core of our faith. We do this, not because we are better than people or to convert people, but because we’re doing what our higher power expects us to do. And although you don’t believe in it, that higher power has a 3 letter word for a name.

Can you not open your heart to allowing Christians to follow their hearts and help your sister and other people?

AA does refer to God alot, but it is not necessarily the traditional meaning of God. It is suppose to refer to a higher power. I have attended AA meetings and I to opposed using the idea of the traditional God. A higher power can be whatever you want it to be, for myself I never did depend on one certain thing, but I did come to realize that there are things out there that allow me to be. Whether it is God or a lamp shade the idea is that you acknowledge there is something more powerful than you which has the ability to help you make the right decisions for yourself.

Your sister should petition the court for an alternative. Of course, the judge could deny her. In that case, she could sue (very costly and time consuming) or, like traffic school, just sit it out and continue with her life. Judges have enormous discretion as to sentencing. In their court, they wield an almost regal power. AA is highly regarded and fairly sucessful, but even they will tell you that you can’t be helped until you want to be. This is why forcing someone to go to meetings is a waste of everyone’s time and (dare I say it?) a miscarriage of justice. All drunk drivers are not alchoholics, just as all drug users are not addicts. Unfortunately, the courts generally don’t want to deal with people as individuals, but as part of the class of “offenders”, and one-size-fits-all sentencing concepts are the norm.

Please encourage your sister to stop drinking, since she apparently doesn’t know when she’s had enough.

As a member of AA I can tell you that many are offended. I can also tell you what people at my AA group say to those who are offended – “Go drink some more & we’ll be here when you get back.” You may have intended to be supportive, but she doesn’t need you to take her. If she won’t go by herself she hasn’t been hurt enough by her drinking for AA to make a difference yet.

YET = You’re Eligible Too

AA was the reason I am a believer today. You’re right – 7 of the 12 steps specifically mention God. The rest imply God. But it’s the god of your own understanding. Mine started without even believing I was just willing to believe because I saw all these people whose gods were working in their lives. You don’t have to go – in fact your attending could possible allow you to enable your sister right back into drinking. Of course if she’s not ready to quit all the AA in the world won’t make a difference.

The reason the courts us AA today is because it’s the only program that works. AA itself says that we are not a monopoly on recovery. But the truth is, nothing ever in history before or since has ever shown the proven recovery that AA has. Why do you think there are over 200 12-step programs today, including Narcotics Anonymous, Cocaine Anonymous, Overeaters Anonymous, Gamblers Anonymous, Sex Addicts Anonymous, etc. No other program has the success rate that AA does. Most alternatives are jokes started by people who cannot or will not submit themselves to this simple program. And I’m not knocking them. They are not at fault – they seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a way of life that demands rigorous honesty.

That’s why I wish the courts wouldn’t send them to AA. I hate to see them drag out the inevitable. Send them to jail instead so they can learn about what alcoholic behavior will earn you. You don’t have to like that either. But my reasoning is because the ones who are court-ordered usually are young kids who don’t care about whether they quit or not. I’d much rather that they drink until it hurts them badly – so that they, like all of us, they will be beaten into a state of reasonableness and finally willing to accept what happens. Because there’s three places an alcoholic will end up: 1) sober 2) Institutionalized (in jail and/or hospitals/rehab) or 3) dead. God looks a lot more palatable when you look at it from that perspective. This is from a card-carrying atheist who never believed it would work for me. But here I am today, more than 11 years later.

So I’ll pose this to you one way. It sounds very harsh, but that’s because this is a life and death matter. I have seen too many people die because they don’t like having God as part of the program. Seems a long way to go for a little stubborn pride, but I didn’t stay in AA the first time I walked in (or the 2nd, the 3rd…). You and your sister need a dose of reality – sober, jail/hospital or death. And in the short run if she doesn’t go, it’s #1 or #2. Be grateful – many people who need AA wrecked their car and survived, only to come out of a blackout the next day while sitting in jail and learn that they killed someone but have no memory of it. I pray that your sister finds what she needs and is willing to accept it. I pray that you won’t allow your offense to kill your sister.

Sober since July 2, 1995 – only by the grace of a God that I didn’t believe in at the time , the steps and the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous.

Joe W.

EDIT:
Since she’s not going anyway, what’s the problem? I assume irresposable means irresponsible. Since that’s the case, she’ll soon get a taste of jail time the next time she gets a DWI & we’ll see what happens from there. I’m afraid she’s in for a long hard road like most of us. Let her do what she needs to do so that she feels the pain as quickly as possible & has to deal with it.

I dated someone who went to those meetings. Brainwashing, Christianity-based, crap. The man and I were polytheists and the reactions were horrible. I can only imagine how it is for your sister. I doubt if she will be able to get out of going to the services (meetings). Having to sit through those religious services will definitely be a punishment that she won’t forget. Perhaps she could conveniently go for a cup of coffee so she would miss having to participate in any of the rituals like holding hands and saying Christian prayers out loud.