I have known him for 4yrs now, been married almost 2yrs. House is in my name with my grandmother as co-signer. All bills, credit cards, both vehicles, insurance, etc. are in my name. Nothing is in his. However, we consider 1 vehicle his & 1 mine. No argument on who will get what on those. We also have horses & he has put alot of blood & sweat into making a comfy farm for them. So yes, he has contributed to the value of the home. Has received his 2nd dui & I want out. All the broken promises of quitting. All the neglect & lonliness I suffer from. I have begged, pleaded & asked nicely for him to move out until he can get help. He will not do anything other than what the court orders. Meaning, he will not do anything to help to save us. In being 37, I want “out” to be able to find the happiness I deserve and have worked hard for all my life to have. Does it have to get nasty or can I just get a restraining order or something to get him to either get the hint or get out?
#1 by Jordan M on July 22, 2010 - 2:59 pm
You need to go into an attorney’s office, sit down and discuss the situation and your desire to get him out of the house. You cannot get the proper advice on YA. Based on what you wrote there is no cause for a restraining order….
#2 by God Bless America on July 22, 2010 - 3:32 pm
Tell him what you want and yes it will probably get nasty but in the end when all is said and done, you will be much better off without him. Don’t let him drag you down to his level because you deserve better than that. If he won’t leave, file for divorce and put a restraining order on him. If he comes around, have him arrested, then maybe he will get the picture. Good luck to y ou.
#3 by villagegirl on July 22, 2010 - 4:26 pm
Unfortunately, marriage laws in most states will give half of all your possessions to him when you divorce. I would get an attorney asap because if he has DUIs on his record he may not be entitled to your stuff. I don’t really know, though. What I do know is that when you divorce, regardless of whose name the property is in, you will probably be forced to give him half. But if he’s an alcoholic you may be able to keep more to yourself. Get a lawyer and get some good advice.
#4 by gmconlan on July 22, 2010 - 4:44 pm
You’ll probably wind up serving him with divorce papers. Get a good lawyer now and put the plan in motion.
#5 by e l on July 22, 2010 - 5:18 pm
Unfortunately some laws do not allow you to kick him off after 30 days of living with you. However, even if it shounds weird to you, the most important thing here is YOU. Maybe you have to sacrifice your possesions for your happiness. If I were you I would leave the house or apt. and do any legal precedengs outside the house. I would stay away from him until you get everything figure out. You can get a order of protection, and maybe he will be require to leave the house immeditaly by police. Call your local police station to a non-emergency line and maybe you can figure it out. Get divorce and don’t put possesions infront of happiness and wellness. Money does not last happiness does.
Have a beautiful day and let me know what happens, what state are you located? E-mail me if you want.
Hope it helps.
L
#6 by Mona Lisa on July 22, 2010 - 6:03 pm
I’m also an attorney, and Jordan is absolutely right. You need more help than you can get on YA–get yourself a good attorney. This is not a do-it-yourself situation.