Hello, I am going through a divorce, and my ex doesn’t want to pay child support for our two year old son. I have been faithful to him despite all of the conflict during and after our marriage, his cheating, alcoholism, and sexual abuse in various forms. I found out after our son was born he was severely abused as a child and subsequently the effects manifested negatively into our relationship. I sought counseling, but he was in the military and regular therapy was impossible. He was in prison for the past 5 months, and upon his release went to live with his mother, resume drinking and etc. after mailing me letters almost daily about his renewed faith and how we could make our family work with devotion to God in our lives. I have been hurt and disappointed by this man so much, and he is hurting us more by not providing for us as I raise our son alone so he can regress and relapse with an abusive family member. I know legally I could sue him and other means of restitution, but as a Christian it is written I should turn the other cheek. I don’t want to set myself up to be a victim by him again, but I still have hopes one day he will return, healthy and ready to be responsible and happy with a simple life. I do not know how to handle this, I feel disgusted to have divorced as it is not with my beliefs, but lost in my faith as a result. Feelings of abandonment and resentment for not understanding God’s plan for me and my son are predominant. Should I let go of the impulse to pursue justice in a legal arena? Should I let God handle it even if it seems unfair and frustrating to allow us to continue suffering financially and emotionally? My ex is predominately Native American, and I am of small decent, and 2012 is a concern for our family as well. I feel like we are falling victim to dark presence/power in our lives. Very confused, but looking to seek guidance and light. Can you help? Please don’t send negativity, thank you.
#1 by charles on July 14, 2010 - 2:24 am
No. it is Christian to stand up for the right thing, and sometimes you need to get the courts involved.
#2 by kmacnevi on July 14, 2010 - 2:46 am
The Bible, which I do not take literally on all counts, does address your question in the New Testament. Christians, as a rule, are not supposed to sue other Christians.
#3 by God's servant on July 14, 2010 - 3:45 am
yes sue him
turn the other cheek means you will not strat any fights or get into any
it does not mean for the father to support not his family you can not make him do so.
1Ti 5:8 But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.
#4 by W. C. Fields on July 14, 2010 - 4:12 am
No. Christians love money as much as anyone else.
#5 by reddragun73 on July 14, 2010 - 4:39 am
When god gives you lemons, find a new god.
#6 by discord71 on July 14, 2010 - 4:54 am
NO…
As a Christian you should turn the other cheek if someone abuses you for being Christian..What you are seeking is not greedy or unjust…
You are rightfully seeking to have your ex take responsibility for the child he helped to bring into this world….
#7 by Cstina on July 14, 2010 - 5:17 am
No it’s not non-Christian. The Bible says that Christians shouldn’t sue each other. It says to turn the other cheek but also to defend the fatherless: your son. If you want, tell him that you won’t sue if he signs away his parental rights. Then you could still let him have a supervised relationship with his son but you’d protect the child from being around the abusive family members on required visits with dad.
Don’t feel bad about divorcing. You shouldn’t keep your son in an abusive environment. I hope all turns out well for all of you..
#8 by Pimpster on July 14, 2010 - 6:12 am
All problems and faith aside.
Im gonna just give it to you straight and you need to take it straight. No if ands or buts…
Thats his child. He pays for half. period.
Ok. thats all.
his problems …no excuse. he still needs to pay . Its not the childs fault dad has issues. issues dont pay the bills.
dont think God would want you to let this slide. Thats just plain irresponsible.
#9 by pugjw9896 on July 14, 2010 - 6:12 am
In the Old Testament, God allowed divorce because he knows we are imperfect, and make mistakes. That in itself does not mean we shouls continue to do the wrong thing. Jesus never said any of the OT was wrong, so the basiocsd must have remained the same in Jesus’ day.
Jesus also said to ‘ turn the other cheek’…so if you are being persecuted, just let it continue. Not easy to do.If the law says he is doing wrong things and against SECULAR LAW, then these scriptures apply…
(Romans 13:1-4) Let every soul be in subjection to the superior authorities, for there is no authority except by God; the existing authorities stand placed in their relative positions by God. 2 Therefore he who opposes the authority has taken a stand against the arrangement of God; those who have taken a stand against it will receive judgment to themselves. 3 For those ruling are an object of fear, not to the good deed, but to the bad. Do you, then, want to have no fear of the authority? Keep doing good, and you will have praise from it; 4 for it is God’s minister to you for your good. But if you are doing what is bad, be in fear: for it is not without purpose that it bears the sword; for it is God’s minister, an avenger to express wrath upon the one practicing what is bad.
“those who have taken a stand against it will receive judgment to themselves.”
The secular authorities will punish any who go against secular law.’
If he HAS to pay maintenance, let the authorities pursue it for you.