Okay, if anyone of you have ever seen some of my other questions posted, you will know, this is a long story, so to try and make it short… My son has a dead beat dad who parents keep taking me to court to let my son be able to visit him in rehad and jail (granted they didn’t care about seeing my son EVER, not even before he went to jail) Last time we went to court, something happen and it got postponed but we found out that he is currently in rehab awaiting trial for meny felony charges in which he will go to jail. But they are giving him weekend passes to come home. We have a old outstanding order to let him have supervised visits with my son everyother weekend fri-sun. If he gets out for a past, I have to make my son go or I’m in contempt. I have a lawyer who says there is nothing I can do to stop this. But there has gotta be! Can’t I do some kind of emergency hearing to stop visits?
he gets the weekend passes from rehab. don’t you think its crazy to let someone with a drug problem out on weekends? Once when he was on his way to pick up my son, he got pulled over and was cought with a stolen, loaded gun and drugs and went to jail. He has about 7 felony charges he is awaiting trial for and they let him out on the weekends! It doesn’t make since
his visits are supervised but its by his parents and my son has to stay at there house all weekend long.
#1 by sammie on July 12, 2010 - 8:03 am
first, good luck. i would talk to as many different lawyers as you have to. there has got to be a way to keep him from taking that baby out of your sight. couldnt you file charges on him for endangering the life of a child since he got caught with the gun?? keep trying there has got to be help.
#2 by fandj4ever on July 12, 2010 - 8:03 am
you should be able to go to court and get a temporary order to stop the visits. you should try and at least get it Changed to a Supervised visits for only an hour a week or something I hope everything goes okay.
#3 by sadiebleubabygurl707 on July 12, 2010 - 8:17 am
Supervised visits= MAKE SURE there is someone there with you or your child.
But, ur baby deserves to know Dad, no matter what, it is that child’s decision later to like him or not.
Remember, you picked him out first.
GOOD LUCK with this situation :)
#4 by Jennifer Z on July 12, 2010 - 8:35 am
Hire a lawyer, or get the court to provide you with one. If you can prove that he is a danger to the child, and a drug addict who carries around a gun and has felonies? I think you have a case to have SUPERVISED visitation. You probably can’t avoid the visitation completely, but you can get supervised visitation, which means he can’t see the children without a social worker present. At least that keeps your child safe.
#5 by laura468 on July 12, 2010 - 9:27 am
well here’s what we did to my stepdaughters biomom she like your ex was supposed to have supervised visits every other weekend well just schedule the visits at a time it would be impossible for him to come yet still comply with the decree like her mom she lived 3 hours away and couldn’t drive she depended on her grandma to drive her to/from the visits we knew the grandma worked graveyard shift and there was NO way she could attend a 7am visit so we scheduled 7am visits she complained her rights were violated but we won because I said it was the only time convient for my daughter we haven’t had a visit in over 4 yrs :) and we are not in contempt
#6 by aanatami on July 12, 2010 - 9:46 am
What does supervised mean? Who supervises the dead beat dad? I would ask your lawyer if something can be done if he is caught not obeying the supervision order. Pray, pray, pray about it.
#7 by pangle1955 on July 12, 2010 - 10:15 am
I’m sorry you are having so much problems with your son’s father. I can see where that can be very upsetting, not only to you but to your son as well. Regretfully your lawyer is right. It is not fair to your son to be put through this, but an inmate has more rights, unfortunately than the good people. You could spend thousands of dollars in court and attorney fees, but the outcome is still going to be the same. At least until the Law itself is changed. The only other thing that can happen at this point is: Is for the father(not his parents) on his own accord, to give up his right to visitation until such time when he turns his life around. Good Luck
#8 by erika_fekas on July 12, 2010 - 10:28 am
Your lawyer sucks! You need to get an ex-parte hearing (an emergency hearing- usually the day after you file the paperwork) in family court asap. When you go to file the papers, make sure that you have a copy of the police report showing that he was arrested while enroute to pick up your child. Get anything you can about his pending felony charges, and get something from the place where he is in rehab. Taking care of a child can be a stressor that would cause someone in recovery to relapse and put your child at risk…. Make it a point to get any information you can before going into court. The document you need to file is an ORDER TO SHOW CAUSE that your custody order be changed. At the very least, if it’s not already specified in the court order, designate who is to supervise the visits between your son and his father and where they will occurr.
If your lawyer fights you on this, fire his ass and do it yourself. You can even get a fee waiver and not pay anything to do all of this yourself. You know what it is that you’re trying to prevent, and the court, if you ask the right way, will help you do what is in the best interest of your child.
#9 by JAYNE C on July 12, 2010 - 10:46 am
I don’t know what kind of lawyer you have. I can’t see any judge letting a child stay with a person whom is in rehab for over night visit or unsupervised visits. You might want to get a new lawyer. Good luck . If it was me I would be in contempt of the court order. Then I would be put in front of a judge.
#10 by Tan T on July 12, 2010 - 11:10 am
Get more legal advice. It can’t be right that a man like that can have access to his child with only his parents there to supervise.
Good luck with getting everything put right.
#11 by Stewiesgal on July 12, 2010 - 11:47 am
Wow, I am so sorry you are going through this. Has Child Protective Services ever investigated? If not (they should have) then your attorney needs to request this. Also do your own research on the subject so you understand the process better. http://WWW.FINDLAW.COM is an amazing website for finding answers about legal issues pertaining to your state. The more informed you are the better. Most states have a family law statute about your type of situation. Good luck and best wishes.
#12 by guccigirl on July 12, 2010 - 12:31 pm
My best friend went through this and I was there every step of the way. I understand your fear and worry for your son. My friend was going through a nasty divorce. Her husband was verbally and sometimes physically abusive. He was very cold and tough on the kids. They were afraid of him. Because the divorce was not amicable,they had to go to a mediator. He was to speak with each of them separately and then come up with a solution as to how the kids were going to be shared. I was able to go with her for support to this meeting. She told her side. One advice about seeing a mediator. You MUST be on your very best behaviour. Meaning no emotional outbursts and bad mouthing your spouse. You can tell your side,,just be sincere and express your concerns.Remember that this is a person that has seen many fueding couples and is the one who’s decision will weigh heavily in court.
So the mediators advice to the court? 99% to the mom (my friend) and well, you know he got. The messed up part about it is the judge felt that he still should give the father a chance! I know, how could he think that right? She was devasted. She had to explain to her 9 year old that he had to go see his dad (whom he was afraid of and did not want to be with). The visitations were supervised by a counselor (for lack of a better word),he had no family in the state. There was nothing she could do because this is what the judge ordered. The visits were rough and heartbreaking. Eventually his true colors came out and he began skipping visits and just being irresponsible in his actions. This is all before the divorce was finalized. In the end,she had sole custody of her son.
I know that you feel helpless and it all seems unjust. Hang in there.Be strong for your son.Do what is ordered because your son cannot lose you. If your ex is as messed up as you say,he will lose. Your son will feel and see your strength and support as he will your fear and weakness. Your son (depending on his age)doesn’t need to know details about your battle, it will only cause fear and anxiety. Just be there for him,let him talk to you about HIS fears and reassure him,as I know you must already do. If possible, try to make the visits as peaceful and as smooth as possible-for your sons sake. It is not giving in or a sign of weakness,but a willingness to do whatever it takes to make this experience less traumatic for him as possible.You are your sons advocate.Everything you do (good or bad) will affect him. I wish you and your son the best.