This is long but I need your help
I’m 19 (male) and my brother is 21. My brother is an alcoholic (Very violent and angry drunk) and has been since he was like 15. He’s been in and out of jail and rehab but nothing has helped him. He has a DUI and hasn’t been able to get a license for about 2 years. He currently has no job and is living at home with my parents and I. He is taking a medication called antibuse to prevent him from drinking (court order) and has been drinking anyway.
I’m working full time and attending local college. I smoke pot every week or two, but when it comes down to it I’m very responsible.
Lately my brother has been getting out of control with his drinking again and has been throwing things and breaking things, yelling and making threats.
My dilemma is that since I was 13, my life has been mostly destroyed living with my brother. He does nothing but criticize my existence and threaten me. He’s unapproachable when he’s drunk because he’s very violent and angry. He calls me and lies to me to get me to lend him money (which I dont), and yells at me when i opt no (cuz i know its for booze).
My main concern is he gets his license back soon and I can promise he will get a new DUI. I feel like it is my responsibility to tell authorities that he is still drinking uncontrollably to spare other drivers on the road. His last DUI he went 80 mph into a pole on a 45mph road and walked away with no injury.
My parents don’t know that he’s currently drinking. I’m afraid that if I say something about my brothers drinking, he will tell my parents I smoke. Which will in turn get me kicked out of the house.
What are my options to have something done about my brother’s excessive drinking problem, he’s going to end up killing himself or someone else.
#1 by 【ツ】☺Just me☺【ツ】 on July 9, 2010 - 7:31 pm
1st Stop doing drugs. 2nd tell your parents.
#2 by Cameron on July 9, 2010 - 8:06 pm
Ya I would def. tell. But Hey man you want your life to turn around? You should seriously think about talking to some LDS members.
Check out this site.
http://WWW.LDS.ORG
#3 by chef2b777 on July 9, 2010 - 8:11 pm
wow im really sorry…i think in private u should consult ur parents and tell them about this make sure ur bro doesnt kno u told them…he could think they found out on their own therefore u wouldnt be told on and ur bro will be helped…i rly hope everything works out!!!! =)
#4 by R on July 9, 2010 - 8:44 pm
Well, you could try telling the police instead of your parents and ask to remain anonymous.
#5 by David on July 9, 2010 - 8:45 pm
You already know what to do – you have already said it. Tell your folks, they will help get it sorted; they will know what to do. Tell them up front you smoke, but that you have given it up – at least you will let them know on your terms, not your brother’s (give that sh*t up, bro, you’ll be a better person for it). You owe it to your family and others in the community to put a stop to this behaviour – you will never forgive yourself if something happens. Believe in yourself, and believe in the love of your family. Cheers, Dave.
#6 by Ann on July 9, 2010 - 8:48 pm
I would consider telling the authorities about this. You’re right to say that he could end up killing himself or someone else. Since he is still drinking that is a definite possibility. Maybe you could leave an anonymous tip. They wouldn’t be able to know for sure if it was you or not.
#7 by Nick on July 9, 2010 - 9:09 pm
I say you should tell your parents. If you get busted for smokin then u get busted. But i think it would be best to tell a parent. It could protect his life, or someone elses, or someones baby…
idk tryin to help.
#8 by Kody on July 9, 2010 - 9:13 pm
well, I’d suggest you get off drugs, then if he claims you smoke just volunteer to take a drug test. get rid of all your stuff too. just to be safe. but you should definetely do something before your at his funeral.
#9 by watermelon bubbles =^) on July 9, 2010 - 9:15 pm
smoking pot is illegal !!!!!!
#10 by stephanie n on July 9, 2010 - 9:52 pm
that is a very hard one ..personally I would think about moving out …I know you are young but it can be done …but aside from that I think you should tell your parents ,if they put up with so much from him I doubt they would kick you out over a little pot …but they need to know he is not following the rules .It is not your job to save your brother ,so you need to try to not feel to blame if he gets into more trouble ….tell your parents and tell his doctor ,I assume he is in treatment…that is the person to talk to …good luck ..
#11 by second pin of time on July 9, 2010 - 10:20 pm
Well, don’t be afraid to tell your parents about that, even though that’s the consequence, if you really care about your brother, or anyone else or your self, and also always be honest and open to your parents in the end, i know, they can accept who you are and what you are…
good luck and god bless!
#12 by desi_chick_000 on July 9, 2010 - 10:32 pm
I feel like maybe you should wait until the weed is out of your system and then tell the authorities?
I think it might be harmful to not only you but everyone around him.
You already know the right thing to do is to tell the authorities about his current situation.
Also, being a med student, taking the drugs hes on now, and drinking alcohol at the same time is quite dangerous.
And also, even if your brother did tell your parents about you smoking weed, they know your very responsible. I think everything will just turn out fine. Have hope.
Best Wishes.
#13 by Clarice on July 9, 2010 - 11:28 pm
wow, that’s a really bad situation… The only thing I can think of to keep u out of trouble and help ur bro is to move out of ur house (I mean u are 19) u don’t have 2 buy a house u can rent an apartment. Then u can tell ur parents about ur bro and u wont gert kicked out of ur house b/c you’ll have ur own. Another idea is 2 consult a counselor they can tell ur parents and u can blame it on one of his friends.
#14 by amie on July 10, 2010 - 12:25 am
Maybe you should consider moving out of your parents house? It doesnt sound pleasant to deal with your brothers drinking all the time. You could find a roommate or something.. and also you should tell your parents or the authorities that your brother is still drinking, even if your parents find out you smoke, its better than not saying anything and having something horrible happen to your bro or someone else.
#15 by raj on July 10, 2010 - 1:13 am
look i have an answer, it looks like funny but really works, it is a kind of mental hypnotism, if u believe in it, use it otherwise leave it. when he came home drunken and sleep, then this process begins, concentrate on his brain backside-top, now in ur mind, say these things, ” Brother, u r very good person, u r not a bad person, leave drinking, this is a bad habit, this will ruin ur life, this is really a bad habit, this avoid u from getting a license, this makes u so angry, so please leave drinking” repeat this 5-10 times for at least 30-40 days.
after some days practice, he’ll definitely leave drinking.