This is not an attempt to slam single moms, but for you women that feel that a man’s leadership in a home is not important, please consider these statistics.
A Gallup Poll finding showed that about “80% of all Americans feel that the most significant problem facing our country today is the physical absence of the father from the home.”
Stats::
63% of child suicides come from fatherless homes.
Almost 90% of all homeless and runaway children come from fatherless homes.
85% of all children with behavior problems come from fatherless homes.
71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes.
75% of all teens with drug and alcohol problems come from fatherless homes.
70% of all long term prison inmates were raised without their fathers come from fatherless homes.
70% of juveniles in state-operated institutions come from fatherless homes.
85% of all youths in prison come from fatherless homes.
72% of all youths who commit murder come from fatherless homes
#1 by farien3 on July 4, 2010 - 3:07 am
None of those ‘stats’ in ANY way implies that male ‘leadership’ in the home is neccessary. MAYBE a male presence is better than NO male presence, but male ‘leadership’ is just not particularly helpful at all in any way whatsoever. Find that difficult to believe? Look at the world around you. War, poisoning of the planet, crime, overpopulation, all of these are partially the result of male leadership. I’m male, but I don’t kid myself. We need more women in leadership positions and fewer males. Note, I said FEWER males, not ZERO males.
Robinson, the only questions I fail to answer are those I find utterly freaking stupid or otherwise without merit. As for ‘proof’, since what I stated about men and women is OPINION only, I don’t require ‘proof’ of my assertion. If you cannot look at our world and draw conclusions, that’s your problem, not mine. As for ‘slander’, I suggest you look up the definition before you continue to make yourself look ignorant. Sorry I had to answer your various accusations in public like this, but you conveniently don’t allow email.
#2 by Robinson0120 on July 4, 2010 - 3:21 am
My mother has always told me that education and environment are important factors when considering something like this.
(She has a bachelor’s degree and always fussed over where we lived/went to school).
My father died when I was 1, and my mother decided not to remarry (She says she’s still married to our father).
In any event, it’s like I said before. Women CAN make it by themselves, but it is MUCH easier/better if a woman and man work together to create a healthy and stable environment for a child. Your statistics on the case are evidence of this (somewhat), although the issue arises that most of those single mothers have very little education and very little money.
A fair question, though. (Maybe I shouldn’t have answered seeing as it says “Ladies…”)
EDIT: As you can see I removed that little part of my post because I figured there was no point in arguing. Nowhere did you use the word “opinion,” either. Sure, you can draw conclusions. My stance is that it depends a lot more on the type of man than on the fact that said person is a man.
You could always just avoid answering the questions, too.
#3 by fushia on July 4, 2010 - 3:29 am
if the job is done correctly ,a woman can raise a child without a man, just as a man can raise a child without a woman. a child needs love, warmth ,good food and clothing. they need to know where they stand with that parent ,so by saying what you mean ,and meaning what you say, the child will gain .so providing they get this and a good education they are set for life.
#4 by Pask on July 4, 2010 - 4:23 am
I believe that there needs to be a strong male role model of some sort, or a father figure in a child’s life if not necessarily in the home.
#5 by Jen B on July 4, 2010 - 4:33 am
My father died when I was very young. My mother did raise me adequately but I feel that a father (a good father) is priceless.
Further, I think we need to stop down-playing the importance of a man’s role in a family. Yes, a child can be adequately raised in a single parent household, but why wouldn’t you want the best for your child, which is the benefit of each parent’s role in a child’s life, if it is available?
#6 by phorwanted on July 4, 2010 - 4:55 am
…and 50% of all marriages fail. Adequate…certainly. A positive consistent male influence is a plus but it boils down to a parents ability to instill in their children pride in themselves and moral decency towards others.
#7 by wendy_da_goodlil_witch on July 4, 2010 - 5:54 am
I am a single adoptive mother. my son is 27 and my daughter is 23. they are happy, reasonably well-adjusted adults. we love each other and get along with each other and other members of our family. neither has been in trouble with the law outside of minor traffic accidents. any kid can get into trouble or have problems with or without a father. you do your best and hope it’s enough.
#8 by Chybabi on July 4, 2010 - 5:58 am
OK, first off: It’s not that these kids (or adults in some cases) get into trouble just b/c they don’t have a father. It’s b/c the people that are raising them don’t have enough support from THEIR family to help care for them and teach them the difference from right and wrong. I grew up w/o a father figure and all of the boy-friends that my mom had were worse than my dad and I grew up just fine. You can’t blame the whole thing on fatherless families. It all depends on what the other parent or guardian teaches them and what they are willing to sacrifice for them. If the parent or guardian doesn’t teach them the difference between right and wrong then the kids wont know the difference.
Even with all that said, (and my previous experience w/ men) I still believe that in order for a child to understand the world EVENLY, there should be both parents raising the child not just one! No matter who says what!
#9 by carrie_p83 on July 4, 2010 - 6:25 am
Here’s another statistic for you: Approx 60% of single mothers live in poverty.
So tell me, what is the REAL issue here: coming from an impoverished home, or coming from a fatherless home? And what is a better solution: women empowering themselves and their families through decent work and independence, or women staying in unhappy homes?
Correlation does not equal causation.
Some further information – link below:
Effects on Children
Past research has indicated that children from single-parent families are more likely to experience less healthy lives, on the average, than children from intact families. For instance, children growing up with only one parent are more likely to drop out of school, bear children out of wedlock, and have trouble keeping jobs as young adults. Other consequences include risks to psychological development, social behavior, and sex-role identification.
However, recent reviews criticize the methodology of many of these studies which support the “deviant” model of single-family structures. Confounding variables, such as income and social class, explain a large portion of the negative findings. When income is considered, substantially fewer differences arise between the intellectual development, academic achievement, and behavior of children in single-parent and two-parent families. Lack of income has been identified as the single most important factor in accounting for the differences in children from various family forms (Casion, 1982; Lindblad-Goldberg, 1989; Amato & Keith, 1991).
Poverty
Mother-only families are more likely to be poor because of the lower earning capacity of women, inadequate public assistance and child care subsidies, and lack of enforced child support from nonresidential fathers. The median annual income for female-headed households with children under six years old is roughly one-fourth that of two-parent families. However, the number of children per family unit is generally comparable, approximately two per household.
Child Care Costs
One of the major expenditures of single parents is child care. On average, a poor mother spends 32 percent of her total weekly income on child care. This percentage nearly doubles when more than one child needs care.
EDIT: Furthermore, why b*tch about single mothers? Why not reword your post to say, “men, we need to step up and spend time with our children”?
If you are so concerned about this, I strongly suggest you volunteer for a young fathers’ program. I read about one in the newspaper and it sounded wonderful – it’s a free, government sponsored parenting class for young fathers. It also provides advice on how to gain more custody. I think more programs like that should exist and be accessible for all. Good luck.
#10 by Fernanda on July 4, 2010 - 6:29 am
i am a single mother and im raising my son really good by myself!!! I dont need a man to help me!!! WHO RAISED U???
#11 by Kimberley B on July 4, 2010 - 7:24 am
It’s all very well going on about fatherless homes, but why are they fatherless? It’s not JUST because women tell men to sling their hooks. A lot of fathers are off fighting in other countries and may not return. A lot of men walk out on women because they want nothing to do with the kids. Some leave their women for others..
You should show these stats to fathers as well before they turn their backs on their families.
As I keep pointing out, I know for a fact that some women can make it on their own. Not everyone needs to depend on others to get them through life.
#12 by ecogeek4ever on July 4, 2010 - 8:16 am
I would rather raise a child with my partner but if something happened to him and I was left to raise a child alone — I think I would do an acceptable job because I would have very supportive and active male role models in my child’s life, grandfather, brother, brother-in-laws, and friends. I don’t where you statistics come from but I would be careful as stats about single parent households can be deceiving. Your stats say “come from a fatherless home” this does not mean the the father was not involved in the child’s life and the institution of marriage is not a guarantee of problem-free children.
#13 by clouds038 on July 4, 2010 - 9:05 am
well i know for a fact my mom can’t she smokes pot and neglects and abuses me but not my brother for he is an angel and you are never to hit her angel
#14 by 1Smart Blonde on July 4, 2010 - 10:01 am
I think it is possible since I know a couple of living example’s of great people who were raised by just their mom. Having said that I think that both parents involved gives a child a more well rounded personality and tends to raise children who have confidence and ambition.
#15 by Mum3grls on July 4, 2010 - 10:32 am
as a single mother of three……I have to admit the statistics you quoted are all terrible……heartbreaking in fact………..but I don’t believe they are all correct……There are many very successful people in the world today raised by single mothers who work damned hard to raise children alone because the men they married were not men at. I have two daughters in school……both are honor roll students and the younger daughter will turn 7 next week…..she is 1st grade age…….getting straight A’s in 3rd grade……do you think they would have been better off living in a house with their father in it…….My oldest daughter was there the day he held me at gunpoint……she still goes to see her therapist………but I think mother and father doesn’t always mean more well adjusted…….in some cases in means more damage……and another thing why are you asking the ladies…..if they are the ones raising kids in fatherless homes…..it seems your point should be made towards the absent fathers……they seem to be the ones at the root of the problem not the mothers who stay around to pick up the pieces……
#16 by Chuckwalla on July 4, 2010 - 10:46 am
Sure there are really deadbeat dads. But many homes are fatherless because the biased court system gives the mother complete custody over the kids in a divorce. Often the mother won’t let the father see his children simply out of spite, this while turning the children against their father.
#17 by Cassius on July 4, 2010 - 11:29 am
Well given the figures you provided its better for a child to have a father.
But consider this.
If all children grow up in stabel homes with their fathers and we have few or no drop outs who is going to do all those minimum wage jobs we need ?
#18 by Phil #3 on July 4, 2010 - 12:04 pm
This has been researched for decades. I’ve been reading about it for the past 20+ years.
Ladies, the facts posted are correct.
You have a choice. You can continue to destroy the children of the US with you selfish and greedy little plans to overthrow society in favor of a matriarchy or you can climb down out of those self-made ivory towers and admit that men are every bit as important as women; mothers are just as important as fathers but NOT MORE SO.
It amazes me to this day and again on this thread to see the same old tired and incorrect excuses used again and again. Everything from the old standard “it doesn’t apply to me because… ” or “I know someone who…” to the most usual, blaming the problem on men.
The problem is feminism and what it has done to destroy families.
Sure, there are cases where a single mom has raised a well-adjusted individual just as there are intact families that have raised thugs but those statistics above indicate something and they are VERY telling.
Ignore them at your peril as well as that of civilization as a whole.
Robinson: Research shows that the children who lost their father through death fared almost exactly as well as those who lost their father in divorce (or never had one in the home at all). It all appears to be in the viewpoint of the mother, who after divorce is less than loving to the memory of the absent partner compared to that of your mother who loved your father even though he was deceased.
#19 by Rio Madeira on July 4, 2010 - 12:16 pm
I, personally, cannot. Hell, I can’t even raise a child WITH a man. I’d make a terrible mother. But many other women have done it and are leading successful lives.
#20 by ~buttercakes~ on July 4, 2010 - 12:47 pm
I don’t think a woman needs a man in the home to adequately raise children,but…I do think they need male influences,good ones,in order to represent the male gender to those kids…
#21 by Alexandra on July 4, 2010 - 12:55 pm
I’d be able to raise my son, but I can’t be a father as well as a mother. I firmly believe that children should have two parents if at all possible.
My mother was never married to my natural father. She married my stepfather when I was 3 months old and he adopted me, so at least I had a father around! One reason he married my mother was so he could be my father, in fact!
#22 by Deirdre O on July 4, 2010 - 1:46 pm
Sorry you stats don’t mean much without the context associated with them such as when, where, how, methodology etc. There are plenty of children that have turned very well without having a male in the home. Generally these children find positive influence from others as well as from their mothers. There are a lot of children who grew up in good homes that turned out very badly. Every heard of Leopold and Loeb. No point in generalizing because sometimes there is no choice and a mother does her best. There are also single father homes that are perfectly acceptable as well. What about after the first and second World War when all those young widows raised their children to be productive. Your statistics really mean nothing and prove even less.
#23 by Susan CG20 on July 4, 2010 - 2:35 pm
Hello,
As a single Mother of a 10 month old Daughter. I would LOVE to have her Father in her life more. it took BOTH of us to make this Beautiful gift from God. but he has chosen not to be in her life right now. i raise my Daughter the best way i can. i raise her to LOVE her Father and one day soon he i hope will be in her life.
I know how important a Father is in a child’s life. my own Father and i do NOT get along. and i know how hard it is to see other people with normal family life so happy. what can you we do to stop the problum? wish i knew i know a few ways. and i know how bady some Fathers want to see their Children and have a relatationship with them.
Ok I know i didn’t answer your question. but i just don’t know what the best way to go about it. just remember one thing. MOST Father’s are warm loving Parents who want to be part of their Children’s life. they want to love them. they want to spend time with them. but the Mother’s of a LOT of them keep them away won’t let them visit them. this hurts the father’s and the Children. so PLEASE don’t think ALL Father’s want NOTHING to do with their Children because that is dead wrong. I only Pray one day my Daughter can have her Father in her life. that i want more then anything.
#24 by Feminist Liberation Army on July 4, 2010 - 3:05 pm
Men are useless as parents anyway since they rarely step in to do any kind of parenting, and find it tough to watch their own children for a single afternoon. Who needs a fat slob sucking down beers and munching on cheetos, while sitting around all day with his hand down his pants? No kid needs to be subjected to such a slob. My vote goes in favor of women raising kids alone without a sloppy man involved to just sit there and burp.