my boyfriend went into rehab, choice of jail or rehab court ordered …. i heard he’s back at work this week and i’m curious if you think i should call him to see how he is or just leave him alone.
maybe he met someone new at rehab or maybe he wants to be alone.
i’ve never known him clean and sober, so he will be some brand new to me and i’m kinda scared to make the first move.
i think he is scared too.
what do you think ?
I have never taken drugs and very rarely drink alcohol.
We have many things in common such as sports that use to fill our life.
I never wrote to him while he was away in rehab for 4 months because I thought it best, now i’m unsure.
I only want what is best for him ….. I’m really proud of him !
#1 by RollinGolden on April 30, 2010 - 7:54 pm
Hes your boyfriend? Why would you choose him? Equally as important… hes your boyfriend and you havent heard from him for four months? Even if he didn’t contact you for less then a week out of rehab which hes been out of id think that was strange never mind four months? I am closer to just average friends then that!
If you were with him when he was unclean and doing things to warrant court time then Id say it would be a step up for you to get back with him when hes clean and anew! But i doubt he is and even if he was would be step down for any self respecting woman.
#2 by Wendy79 on April 30, 2010 - 8:40 pm
Let him go and move on.
#3 by janicajayne on April 30, 2010 - 9:10 pm
I think rehab worked and he’s dumping all his friends that he used to party with, you included. It’s good for him. Stay away from him.
#4 by Reiko Peaches on April 30, 2010 - 9:54 pm
Move on. You were a part of his past and that’s what he’s trying to leave behind.
And try to find someone who’s got their life on track.
#5 by Al Rozz on April 30, 2010 - 10:47 pm
I think if he cared allot about you he would of been with you when he got out.
#6 by cyanwitch on April 30, 2010 - 11:30 pm
Sounds like he is over you. Did you have contact with him when he went away?
Move on girlfriend……..sounds like he has.
#7 by Johnny B on April 30, 2010 - 11:40 pm
Run while the gettin’s good. Start a new life for yourself.
#8 by oodles on May 1, 2010 - 12:11 am
I think you should call him to see how he is going or visit him! He is your boyfriend and wants to know you care and if he has found someone else then that he will tell you. I think its been long enough, go and see him or call and find out if he needs anything.
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#9 by JohnLastNameSecret on May 1, 2010 - 12:34 am
Give him some space and if he doesnt call you, then you should probly call him. Give it a few weeks, he needs time but not a lot.
#10 by DrB on May 1, 2010 - 1:29 am
I think he will be someone very familiar to you and you should find someone with a different background..
#11 by Cinoi1551 on May 1, 2010 - 2:04 am
You could make the first move, but you don’t want to pressure him into anything.
He could be ashamed of how he acted in the past, or he could be scared to make the first move.
Give him some time to get into post-rehab life, and then you can make the first move. However, if he wants you to back off, respect his wishes…
#12 by kjbuckeye8818 on May 1, 2010 - 2:20 am
If he hasn’t called yet, let him go. He may be trying to change his life for the better and he might not be able to do that around his past. If you care for him, let him go. If it’s meant to be, he’ll come back to you.
#13 by fullofwonder on May 1, 2010 - 3:15 am
Leave him alone. He’s probably trying to sever ties to his past to try to stay sober. Sorry. It’s probably better for you too.
#14 by Lola on May 1, 2010 - 3:53 am
Why not go for a guy that doesn’t even need rehab? That’s just asking for trouble. Don’t you deserve better? If he hasn’t tried to see you, maybe he’s not interested. He might be doing you a favor. Good luck!
#15 by mskylers on May 1, 2010 - 4:29 am
Let it go. If its been for months and not a peep, then he just does not want to talk to you. Let it go and move on. If you do drugs mabe you to need to go to jail or rehab.
#16 by Shreya S on May 1, 2010 - 4:49 am
no dear, u must call me atleast once. thereafter only u can decide anything. whatever is the reason will come out soon before you
#17 by RhapsodyOfFire on May 1, 2010 - 5:17 am
Just wait.
#18 by headphoneloser on May 1, 2010 - 5:56 am
I don’t see how it would hurt to give him a call. Don’t put any pressure on him about why he hasn’t called you and all that though. He’s probably been through a lot and is just trying to get himself together.
Call him up, ask him how’s he been. Let him know that your proud of him. Just be a friend and don’t expect too much …
#19 by paperpenandtea on May 1, 2010 - 5:58 am
You should leave him be while he cleans up his life.
I think part of his rehab is to make a fresh start. Even if you are a good influence on his life, he needs time.
This really had to be all about him. It’s not easy what he’s doing. Let him come to you when he’s ready, if he’s ready.
#20 by Amoré on May 1, 2010 - 6:19 am
He’s your buddy and he’ll call or stop by and visit you when he feels more stable. I’ve gone through something similar and needed time to myself to adjust , get working earn money, get family organized and then when I felt relaxed I called my friends last cause I knew they would wait for me.
I bet he knows you are waiting for him.
Good luck sweetheart and keep smiling
#21 by GPB on May 1, 2010 - 7:06 am
I can understand why you’re scared. There are a lot of scary things here. First priority – is this someone who is good for you? Would it be good for you to have him back in your life? If the answer is no, none of the rest of it matters. Leave him alone, no matter how hard that is. How much has he messed up his life, and how will that impact yours?
If you’re sure you want to give him another chance, there are some tough things to face. He may not really know himself clean and sober either, and still be trying to feel his way. He may be trying to get back on his feet with his job, his family, etc. He may not know what he wants in a relationship, or be ready to be in one.
Depending on what your relationship was like before, he may be feeling guilty about things he did when he was having problems, and not know how you’ll respond now. If that’s the case, he’d probably appreciate hearing from you. Or, maybe he feels the need to make a clean break with that time in his life. Even if that’s the case, you and he would probably both feel better if you talk once, however briefly, and get some closure. And if he just doesn’t want to talk – at least you know that and you don’t have to wonder what would have happened if you’d tried.
So, if and only if you think it would be good for you, I’d call him. But think hard about what’s best for you.