I’m nineteen and trying to move out as soon as I physically can from my father’s house. Unfortunately that probably won’t be for a while as I am in the process of acquiring a car, a job, and a place to live. I’m in a rush to leave because my eighteen year old sister is harder to live with then most crack whores, (not to offend any working ladies with access to the internet.)
Honestly though I’ve never witnessed a more pathetic excuse for a human being. When I see people making first impressions with her I am compelled to yell, “RUN!” To save them from her pretentious advances and put on darling attitude. Both are short lived once she has your trust. From there she will manipulate, exploit, deceive, and take advantage of you until you realize you are just a means to a end for her.
For example when I did treat her like a person she:
-Tried paying my friends with sex for pot.
-Accused me of beating her and called the cops.
-Accused my fourteen year old brother of beating her and called the cops.
-Stole many of my valuable possessions and pawned them.
-Totaled my car.
These are the only things I can recollect off hand but I think it gives you a clear idea of what I’m dealing with.
It was nice having her out of the house during the winter when she was court ordered to attend rehab. But it was fairly obvious when I met her probation officer that she was under the impression that my sister was a angel and was living in a broken home, I felt like pointing at my suburban upper class house and asking if it looked like a project. Apparently while in rehab my sister claimed I was the source of her anguish which I find remarkable since I utter and completely ceased to speak or even recognize her in the months following up to her admittance to rehab.
Since she’s been back I’ve continued to literally act as if she doesn’t exist but she has taken the opportunity to walk all over me to the point it’s becoming unbearable. When I ask my father to do something he asks me, “what do you want me to do?” I’ve thought about living on the streets or even taking my chances in the wilderness. I’m tempted to fight fire with fire and am fairly certain I could beat her at her own game but I would imagine I’d feel morally desensitized after wards.
So that’s my rant, like I said I’m doing the best I can to get on my own feet and get out of here but it’s torture while I do. If anyone has been in a situation like mine and found a means with dealing with it please let me know. Obviously I’m looking for a non-violent solution regardless of the good a smack upside the head would do her. I apologize for the length, I was trying to make it clear that this just wasn’t sibling rivalry and if I just said my sister is crazy it wouldn’t do me any justice. Thank you for hearing my case.
#1 by TheOne on April 26, 2010 - 11:25 pm
There was so much anger and disgust coming from your question, I had to wrap myself with tin foil to protect myself.
Did you ever read the Bible ?
Have you ever heard of the concept, like, helping people ? Turning the other cheek ? Treat people how you would like to be treated (especially if you are down and out like they are now) ?
You mention that the people working with your sister have made decisions about her upbringing that makes you angry ? Well, judging from your letter, I can see there is some kind of dysfunctional issues going on. I am not a doctor, and I don’t know what those issues are.
I think it might help you to start writing a list every day of the things you are grateful for every day (which is what I do). You have a lot to be grateful for.
You are an articulate and intelligent human being.
You have a roof over your head. You have a family that loves you.
Instead of memorizing every single disgusting thing your sister ever did or said to you that was bad – think about ways you can help her and make her recovery easier, not more difficult.
Peace.
#2 by Maverick on April 27, 2010 - 12:13 am
Wow, that´s some serious stuff you´re dealing with. Love the sarcastic/annoyed attitude. I know leeches like her. Luckily I don´t have one living in my house right now.
As for getting on your own, I bet you´re working jobs right now, aren´t you? How important is a car to you? I mean, if you move to a city, you can use public transportation or get a bike. That way, you don’t have to deal with insurance and all the other costs that come with having a car. I used to live in this crappy 2 by 2 room in London. I took my bike everywhere I went and I was usually faster than any traffic driving around. It wasn’t really expensive living either because I didn’t live in the centre. I’ve found it works this way in most cities.
So maybe that’s an option, depending on where you want to go. Later on, when you’ve settled in and make enough money, you can always decide to get a car. As for her, she’s obviously an attention whore with issues. You already know that if you give her that attention, she’ll start harassing you even more. Just tell her than until she cleans herself up and starts acting like a normal human being, she’s dead to you. And then just start looking through her instead of at her. It might seem like harsh treatment, but it works. So, don’t be nasty to her, just be indifferent.
If she cares, she might change her attitude. But you’ll have to give her that chance–not stomp everything she says or does into the ground without giving it thought. So be indifferent and try looking at her from a different perspective. You don’t have to be compassionate, but you don’t want to be so full of hate you’ll end up just like her (personalitywise).
The best of luck to you. Hope you get out of this mess sooner than later.
**EDIT** Sumon Jenny, what the hell are you doing? If you can’t come up with your own answer, then don’t answer at all!**